just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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