I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
