is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
