xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
