Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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