I'm really into asian looking animals
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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