He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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