Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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