i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
