May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Blood and glitter go together right?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
