I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
