If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
