I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
