you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You're like the curious george of whores
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
