you mean i was at the winter classic?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
