Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
