and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
