I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
