I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
