Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
