just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
