scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I will be naked everywhere
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
