ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
