I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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