he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
