Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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