so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
