first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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