D3 body, D1 cock
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
