She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
