I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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