we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
