the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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