She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
