Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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