why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
