Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
