Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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