I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
