i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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