There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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