He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
