would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
