I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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