uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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