Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
