You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
