I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
