the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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