He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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