Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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