i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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