Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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